Surrender As A Spiritual Practice  

 The one thing we know for sure, whether we like it or not, change is a constant force in our lives. Right now we are enjoying the change from winter into spring and that is delightful and wonderful. But what about the times when it is personal and a surprise or unwelcome?  Over the past months I have heard many people talk about how their lives are feeling “out of control” and in chaos. They are having trouble making sense of all the uncertainty that is in front of them as their world seems to spin out of control.  From my own life I know I am more open and accepting of the change when I can see how I will benefit from it. But when circumstances demand that a change is needed and it is hard to see the blessing in it, I can almost feel myself digging in my heels and fighting it at every turn.

 

 Whenever I think about resisting the things that are happening in my life I always think about this childhood story. I grew up with horses and would often go riding bareback. My brother and I would hop on with only a bridle and go for a ride thru the woods. Walking was probably safer, but it was way more fun to cantor.  Without a saddle or stir-ups to hold me in place, I used my knees pressed into the side of the horse to hold on. I loved that feeling of moving to the rhythm of the horse, it was as if we were moving in one motion.  The minute I became fearful, I knew it and the horse knew it and I was in for a rough ride. I often look back on this and realize it is a metaphor for life. When we are resistant to anything it becomes harder and more difficult. However, when we can move with the flow of life it becomes easier and more harmonious.

So I pose this question; if we know change is constant, and we know it becomes harder when we resist it, then what perspective would allow us to move thru it with more ease and grace?

Einstein said that we cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. If we use only our intellect to try to figure it out, to navigate the change, it will be hard and difficult, feeling defeated as circumstances keep changing. We must move past our logical thinking into a higher perspective that incorporates the spiritual aspect of surrender.

We must understand that the tighter we try to hold on to what was, the more we are really trying to control it. Surrender is the spiritual practice of letting go of all the thoughts and feelings that are keeping us stuck in one way of thinking about something. Anything we cannot release will keep binding us until we are forced to release it. We usually call that having our back against the wall and often it is because we have held on to too tight for too long. Surrendering it is not about giving up but about being willing to hand it over to a higher power and in so doing we have acknowledged the Divine guidance at work in our lives. We call on our faith and trust in God to help us maneuver what lies before us.

What if we could let go of the fear and negative thoughts that so often accompany holding on to what was? Think of it as a form of release and a practice that would allow you to take a deep breath and say, maybe I don’t have to have all the answers or have it all figured out. We call this spiritual self-awareness and it helps us see the places that need our attention and loving care. Looking at ourselves with a kind heart allows to move past where we are and into a place that is in harmony with your highest good.

Let’s go back for a moment to the story about riding bareback. Where are you holding on for dear life? What are the beliefs and fears that are keeping you stuck? For a moment, close your eyes and imagine that you are moving in sync with everything around you? That everything, whether you realize it or not is working on your behalf. Would it not just be easier to flow with it? I know this is often easier said than done, but my hope for you and everyone is that we might all be able to relinquish the control and damaging thoughts enough to imagine a new reality for ourselves. Blessing on your travels thru change.

 

~Sandy Thibault

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How Will You Choose To Navigate Through This Year?

 

New Years is a time when we typically make resolutions. We begin to think about what we want to do and how we want to be as we forge ahead into another year. We often get caught up in the nostalgia of the season and contemplate the clean slate that lies ahead of us. Choices are made that we think will help us make this year different than last. However, if you are someone who made a resolution, my guess is that you have already broken it or maybe even forgotten what it was. From what I know, this is pretty typical of most people.

Considering that the perspective you hold has the ability to change you, maybe there is another way to think about it that will enhance your well-being. You can change your actions by simply having a strong will, but usually that is not enough to sustain them long term. Since action stems from your belief and your perspective, it is important to identify what you believe and what the story is that you have been telling yourself about that belief; Often it has more to do with the feelings you hold about yourself. I’m too old or too busy, maybe it is when I get more money this will work out…I think almost everyone can identify with one of these story lines. These thoughts keep a person hostage to them and this awareness can help move past them and into something more live giving.

Most people I have encountered have a desire and are on a journey for greater spiritual and personal growth; they want a closer and deeper relationship with God, themselves and each other. They want to live with more balance and alignment between what they believe and what they do. This is the key to navigating each day in a way that honors what you want most and allows for a change in how you see the world and therefore informs your actions. 

One of my favorite verses in the Bible comes from Psalms 46:10 and is; “Be still and know that I am God.” The first part of this process in discerning what you want for the year ahead is to become still. Our society seems to measure our worth by what we can generate and what we can accumulate and somehow we have bought into this notion. This busyness of our time suggests that we just keep moving so we continue to give our attention and resources to keep the belief alive and the vicious cycle continues. There are many ways and ideas about how to find quiet time in your life. It does not matter how you do it, but that you do it. I know you may heard this a million times already but listening and taking stock of what you’re doing is the only way to stop the cycle. This can be done by asking yourself a few simple questions such as: When you think about your day ahead, where are you frustrated, sad, anxious etc.? How does your body feel…tired, in pain, nervous etc.? They are more than feelings as these signs play an important role in your well-being; they are asking you to pay attention!

That is usually what our resolutions are made up of, things that have made us uncomfortable.This is the beginning place to listen to yourself, challenge beliefs and dare to make new choices that allow a new perspective to emerge. This is what is commonly known as a ahah moment! In this quiet place you can begin to identify the feelings under the change you want to make. Ask questions like what if…I was not afraid or sad or frustrated? What if I really could do that…what would it say about me? What if I felt worthy?  What do I think God is asking me to do? Is it different than what I want to do? I would suggest that your inquiry is one of curiosity and wonder rather judgment against yourself or others.

If this sounds exciting and scary all at the same time you are on the right path. There is risk involved as well as courage and a great love for yourself to decide that you want something different. It does not matter if it is something big or small, as long as it holds importance for you!  Just in deciding that you want to slow down and discern what you want in your life will help you begin to notice the thoughts and beliefs that have prevented you from making the desired changes. And with gentle and loving inquiry your frame of mind will change and you will begin to notice your actions are fueled by this new outlook. Always remember that this is a journey, not a destination as you move closer to yourself, others and God. Blessings to you~

 

First published in the Savage Pacer January 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Perspective of the Heart

By Sandy Thibault

Have you ever wished that everything in life was smooth and easy? How silly is that question; of course you have and so have I! But what happens when we hit a rough spot, perhaps it is a life circumstance or a relationship that is struggling. When things get difficult, all our worst fears come to the surface and our thoughts lead down paths that are not helpful. Sometimes this leads to confusion that makes it difficult to discern between what is true and what is not. It alters our perspective and as a result we say and do things that are out of alignment with our deepest intentions. It takes us away from our best self.

Years ago, I learned this acronym for fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. Often our fear seems bigger than life itself, but it is not the only thing that clouds our perspective when things are hard. We all have experiences and beliefs that inform us that point to who we are or are not, and who we should be, but often we forget the truth who we are.

Difficulties in our life cannot be resolved with the same consciousness that created them, therefore a larger and higher perspective is needed. I believe, that is the exact purpose when life circumstances get difficult. It provides with an opportunity to look deep inside to our place of greatest knowing. In this place we can hear more than the words that are spoken and see more than what appears before us. It is this place of our deepest knowing that holds the most transforming power of all, and that is unconditional love. It is the love we have for ourselves when we fall back rather than stepping up, it is the love that we extend to our family and friends when they are not seeing all of who they are. From this place we can all hold each other in our humanness…how we don’t live up to what we are capable of and how we let our light shine. We are human and we all miss the mark allowing ourselves to be out of integrity at times. And when we do, we can forgive ourselves and let the light shine on the goodness we all have. This is spirit at work and a powerful place of healing and transformation.

In our society is is often just easier to leave when things get hard. It seems much easier than trying to figure it out and it is easier. When we stay with rather than moving from, using our heart as a guide, we find the true gift of relationship. One thing I learned from the people of Africa is that relationship is a high priority. When there are problems they do not stay unresolved for long. Whatever happened is talked about until there is an understanding suitable to both and then they extend a blessing to each other as they move forward.

The relationships we have are gifts to be treasured. I would invite you to consider resolving things with people where there has been a divide and offer forgiveness to yourself and others. Each day I make a promise to extend unconditional love to those around me, and let the mystery and power of love, guide, heal and transform. Sometimes this is harder than other times but having the intention to do so changes ourselves and others. I hope you will too. Blessings to you!

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Are You Telling the Truth?

 

One of the things that have always been distrubing to me is when people lie to me or tell me half truths. Recently, I came across an article about this very subject that peeked my interest. A professor at the University of Mass, Social and Behavioral Sciences has some interesting things to say about this. By age 3 most children understand that lying is a way to stay out of trouble. When adults were polled, it turns out that we don' think twice about lying or miss-representing ourselves or a situation. These lies range from saying things we don't mean, to embellishing our selves or something, or just not telling the whole truth. Some of these are intended to make ourselves feel better, to save face or to make someone else feel better saving them from perceived hurt. Who are we that we think the very person whose feelings we are sparing are actually more hurt by the lie or half truth?

 

A more troubling finding in the study was that even though these lies were small the people felt justified in doing so. When presented with a video of themselves in a 10 minute conversation, they were surprised by how often they did not tell the truth even in that short conversation. What seems to be most difficult is the idea of lying is most often coming from this unconscious place in ourselves where we do not even realize how often and to what extend we do it. When the lie is rationalized to be justified, we have begun to believe that it is in our right to do it which could continue the pattern or lead to bigger breaches of our own integrity. More alarming still, the study showed that people who cheated on a test to get a high score were rewarded with a certificate of excellence;leading to more research that showed whenever we get acknowledgement in any form for the lie it gives us a sense of what we did was right. This helps to continue doing it and  rationalizing it even further to be ok to do.

 

When I brought this up to a few friends they talked about how this felt true to them and how we as a society encourage this. What was also evident was how at a intuitive level people know when someone is not being honest in their interactions with them and how bad that feels. The conversation we had encouraged each of us to look at the damaging effects of this kind of behavior and ask ourselves for what purpose would I/we engage this? And after being totally honest, make a conscious decision that our words and actions are in integrity for the benevolence of our souls and in honor of each person that we interact with.

May your day be blessed with all things good as we all look for ways to be integrity with ourselves and others.

Sandy